Seeking Tennis Buddy

Attractive, fit WM, 34, seeking another male, 25 - 45, to play tennis. I haven't played in quite some time, and would like to get back up to speed. Evenings and weekends are best.

Today is Friday August 8, 2008: The official Opening of the Olympics in Beijing, China.

Yesterday, though, I continued my daily routine of calling people to take me out to lunch. Yesterday was my Mom's turn. We had lunch with my uncle Mike and then we went our separate ways.

When I arrived home, I thought I should do something other than watch t.v., therefore I decided I would check my email. My cousin Kathryn was on gmail, and well, basically, I am not sure if she even works at her job b/c we spent an entire 2 hours chatting online, looking up odd things on Craig's List and sending them to each other. Which brings me to what I want to write about today. Let me tell you how much I LOVE, and I mean LOVE, Craig's List. My personal favorites are the PERSONALS!!!! Check them out, really, they will make your day...however be aware that they are addicting as hell.

After sifting through the personals and reading what a man wants in a woman, what a girl wants in a man, what a woman wants in a girl, and what a man wants in a boy, I was amazed by how different the postings are. Frankly, Gay men are just straight to the point: "GWM (gay white male) seeking submissive bottom for some light scat, no poop please. Some toys Okay. Here is a pic of my cock, my stats are buff and attractive, you be same...no bullshit" I love it.

The men seeking women: "WM seeks attractive and intellectual young woman to share intimate evenings drinking wine, discussing essays, and lounging on weekends."

Women seeking men sounds like this: "bored mom looking for the man of her dreams. Is that you? call me."

Finally, the women seeking women goes a little like this: "lesbian woman seeks other lesbian or bi woman to go hiking, swimming, boating, dog showing, and making means from my garden. Also, if you have a UHAUL, that works out great b/c you will be moving in with me in a month and I will put you on my mortgage."

No, actually, that last line isn't really what is said, but it is just simply implied and understood. But, lets be frank. At least with these gay men they just cut to the chase, layout exactly what they want, there is no reading between the lines, and you know exactly what you are signing up for so that there are no "surprises." There is no: "Oh, you just put your hand on my cock! I wasn't interested in this, I just wanted to drink wine and discuss Madonna's new album ." The rest of them are just plain bullshitting. All of them want sex and maybe some talking before and after. Are people really looking for love on Craig's list personal adds? Come on!If you really wanted love then you would fill out a survey for Harmony.com (gays need not apply) and get yourself matched up with someone you'll find out is a serial killer. That said, I have digressed. This blog is actually not about those adds, what I want to talk about is the "Strictly Platonic" adds.


Attractive, fit WM, 34, seeking another male, 25 - 45, to play tennis. I haven't played in quite some time, and would like to get back up to speed. Evenings and weekends are best.

So, I went into "strictly platonic" to see if anyone had posted any entries about wanting to play tennis. I am desperately trying to play some tennis. However, since I am unemployed, I can't really afford to "pay" to play tennis, so I thought since it is a nice 110 degrees out, I would just see if I could find a community that plays at a high level and on free courts. I wasn't "really" thinking that I would find people to play with, however the titles to the adds were intriguing me. Hhere are a few adds: "Looking for weight watchers partner/workout partner - w4w - 35 (Belleville, Il);" "Looking For Christian Business Relationships!**** - m4w - 33 (St. Charles);" "need help dressing - m4w - 46 (st louis county)"...you get the point. Interesting platonic relationships, the last being a crossdresser seeking a female to help with schooling on what to wear, how to put on make-up, and how to do one's hair (if you have a wig or have never learned to french braid) in order to improve their "blending" in (when i found this one I thought about answering, surely as an unemployed gay man I could help a girl out:). Anyway, nothing really more than platonic.

Then I found the add "Seeking Tennis Buddy." I thought, "Here. Someone to play tennis with and be my buddy at the same time. This is perfect. Exercise AND a my buddy doll." So, I go ahead and click on the link, and the add reads :

Attractive, fit WM, 34, seeking another male, 25 - 45, to play tennis. I haven't played in quite some time, and would like to get back up to speed. Evenings and weekends are best.
Okay, this seems like a possibility. Not too old, not too young, schedule works well with me since I have none. However, he hasn't played in a while and I don't want to play with people who can't hit the ball. So, 2 points age and schedule, 1 point off for not playing much. Then, I looked at the add again: "Attractive, fit, WM, 34, seeking another male, 25-45." I think to myself, "okay, why does it matter if you are attractive and why does it matter how old I am?" I started thinking that maybe this tennis "buddy" was code for tennis "fuck buddy." I know that it is very important for the person I am trying to beat in a game of tennis to be HOT, for eye candy purposes only, but I am not sure if that really matters at all since the goal is to find a tennis "buddy." Then, I thought, maybe this isn't "strictly platonic" and those damn mischievous queers have cornered the market in both the explicit "personals m4m" and are now spilling over into the "strictly platonic" portion of Craig's List. Its like, "well, maybe I don't want to be SO forward like all the other 'personal adds'." (if you see one that isn't precise, it feels out of place...like, maybe he should have just stuck with yahoo singles or something). So, they are now posting in the "strictly platonic" b/c maybe they want more of a challenge, or are too shy to give the size of their penis, or maybe this is what gays consider "platonic." I don't know. I have been "out" of the "community" for so long living my TINC (two income, no children) life, but I know subtle innuendos when I see them.

So here is my dilemma: I feel a personal responsibility to keep "strictly platonic" "really strictly platonic." I sit here wondering if I should go down all adds that "imply" something other than "platonic" and flag them and have them moved to the personals section? Yet, at the same time, I am concerned that all of this may just be in my head and I am "reading" too much into these b/c I obviously have way too much time on my hands. And, on the other hand, maybe I just don't understand what the word "platonic" means. Maybe casual sex is "platonic" to some people and I am being insensitive to this cultural movement towards "platonic" meaning you can fuck your neighbor, best-friend's boyfriend, mailman, or anyone else as long as there is no "feelings," more specifically "romantic attachment and loving emotions" passed along to the other person. Or, maybe "platonic" really does mean exactly that, "nothing more than friends, which by that I mean, no random romps with others." I think I will go with the latter.

Wow, I am glad I got that cleared up. The next postcard from home is in the mail!