Blogger Neglect

Hello Everyone,

Well, I will have to say that this blog was off to a fantastic start. I was hitting a stride and writing one a week for about a month. My intention was to discuss what life was like unemployed, trying to kick unhealthy habits and failing at it mercilessly. However, then I got a job and I actually was going to the gym regularly. Therefore, now I can't talk about unemployment or being unhealthy. But, then, I realized that at any moment I could be unemployed again, and with my track record for relapsing into unhealthy habits, I was sure to find something to write about. So here goes nothing.

So far I have been 40% successful at quitting smoking. After stopping for about 3 weeks, I got really bored at home, and decided I needed a friend to keep me company during my boring days. So, MR. SALEM LIGHTS eventually won out. I started back up full force and enjoyed every minute of it. UNTIL, I got this cough, and this cough just wouldn't go away. I particularly loved the fact that I would get this cough in the morning and start puking sometimes. YUMMO! So, I said to myself, in a wonderfully depricating manner, "DAMN IT, RYAN. QUIT FUCKING SMOKING. YOU HATE THE WAY YOU FEEL. SO FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF!" The next day I bought 4 weeks for patches. If any of you all recall one of the many other times I have tried to quit, the patches kinda worked...until I ran out of patches and decided that it was cheaper to buy a pack of smokes than it was to pay another $40 bucks for patches. I had every intention that I would buy the patches with my next pay check....it was too late!

Well, I am on that route again. I decided that since I don't have health insurance, CHANTIX, wasn't the way to go again, but more importantly I didn't want to go crazy again just to stop this little annoyance in my life. I mean, Shit, I would rather have an addiction than be in the psychiatric ward! And, now I am seeing commercials from some ambulance chaser wanting to sue the company, but since I never "attempted suicide or had suicidal thoughts," i can't get in on the settlement...DAMN. So, now I am in my third week of patches. I now smoke only when I drink....pretty much, only when I drink. And sometimes when I think about drinking. And sometimes when I am around my family. And sometimes when someone is smoking a menthol in front of me. BUT, for the most part I am smoking MUCH MUCH less. That said, it is quite amazing how good I am for a couple of weeks, but then the "importance" of stopping smoking just slips out of my mind and I start thinking that it is a really good idea. So, here I am contemplating if I should just give it up completely, or just give into the desire and smoke myself into an asstray smelling worker at Dirt Cheap Ciggs. So, if any of you all pray, get on your knees and help me out damn it! We will see in the next few months how it goes. I am not feeling too optomistic about my chances, but I am forging forward, nonetheless.

So, I guess I have a few more unhealthy habits to kick.